Low Self Esteem Will, Lower Your Expectation
Remember Monday when I wrote about my “dream job” being posted, finally???
While the deadline is only next Sunday, I still haven’t applied for it.
I just need to change a couple things on my cover letter and send it off, but I haven’t done it yet
………. I have it in my head that my only chance is if no one else applies for it.
Which is quite possible (I know one other applicant but she’ll not be eligible based on her
current position being a level too low) but it’s also possible that there will be 5-10 other applicants.
No word on the other position, I was told interviews would be in a few weeks.
Ideally, I’d find out before interview #1 who will have applied for job #2.
Because I am having big doubts whether I want to undertake the responsibilities of job #1 now…
On paper, the 2 are quite different too…
Job 1 (3 other people applied for):
4 possibly 5 employees to supervise
40 hours/week, Monday to Friday (I assume 8-5)
30 minute drive North, mostly highway
starting around $52,000/year
All benefits right away (including dental, vision and pension that I don’t have yet)
No possibility of any transfers for 2 years as job is highest level
Job 2 (closing in 1 week only):
not really anyone to supervise… just a term employee to replace me when I’m not there
40 hours/week, Monday to Saturday and a weird 1h45 minute break mid day and
ALL Saturday mornings20 minute drive South, mostly highway
starting around $43,000/year
All benefits right away (including dental, vision and pension that I don’t have yet)
Possibility of applying for something else anytime, if it’s a higher position
(this position is only 1 level higher than my current one now)
And if I don’t get either, this is what I have right now:
Current job:
No one to supervise (basically no stress)
Guaranteed 5 hours per week only (averaged 29 hrs/week in 2009)
Can be called as early as 6:30 am to fill in for anyone who’s sick, so temp-like in a way
8 minute drive SouthCan expect about $20,000-$35,000/year
Currently have medical coverage (includes prescriptions, massage therapy, chiro, etc).
Will be available for pension (based on my actual earnings) on November 9, 2010
Can apply for anything and everything as I’m at the lowest level
Huge benefit: LOTS of free time!
I’d like to fast-forward 3 months from now when both interviews will be done and
the dust will have settled. I can’t take the stress of the unknown!!
If I had to choose, based on the list above, I’d go for #2 for sure… but something tells me
I’m going to be greatly disappointed… but they can’t ever take away my current position from me,
that’s mine until the day I retire or the position is abolished
(at which time I hope my years of seniority will save me).
Ironically, the job that was 2.25 hours away has already opened… so they are looking for
candidates there too……. that one’s basically the same as job #1 in terms of responsibilities
and salary, but it’s far away so I’ve already made my decision about not applying over a month ago.
I have to tell myself that
if I’m successful at job #1 I should take it because I’m going to be “black listed”
if I turn it down. (I had this crazy idea of giving less than my 100% at the interview…
but I know this can come back to haunt me… especially with interview for job #2 soon after)
I should be ready and fully expect job #2 having many applicants as
I’m sure if it’s my ideal position, it has to be someone else’s.
I’m totally OK with staying as is, and there will possibly be a couple more openings
within the next year (if I tell myself this over and over and over again I’ll believe it 
)
