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Helping The Self Esteem Of Children

Children of all ages require self esteem to feel good about themselves, their world, and the contributions
they can make to it.

In order to achieve a goal, children must believe that they have the talents to realise their ambitions.

More important than achievement, self esteem is also crucial to children’s happiness.

Only when they are comfortable with themselves and believe that their abilities have worth while,
will children truly feel fulfilled.

Unfortunately, self esteem can often be in short supply throughout childhood and the teenage years.

At some time, nearly every child or teen will suffer from low self esteem.

While this is normally a transitory experience, low self esteem can also be a plague that feels like it will
never go away.

Promoting self esteem among children and teens is thus of the utmost importance to ensure that they
will feel talented, happy and loved.

Spotting Self Esteem issues in Children and Teens

Children and teenagers with low self esteem will display a variety of traits, including:

• Being easily influenced by advertising or others.

• Avoiding new challenges for fear of failure.

• Becoming frustrated easily by setbacks.

• Blaming others when activities are unsuccessful.

• Disbelieving that (s)he has any talents or special abilities.

• Feeling unloved.

Children and teenagers with a high level of self esteem and strong feelings of self worth will
also display stereotypical traits, such as:

• Welcoming new challenges.

• Tolerating frustration.

• Taking responsibility for unsuccessful ventures.

• Recognising and sharing his/her talents and special abilities.

• Feeling loved, and loving others in return.

Promoting Self Esteem Among Children and Teens

Promoting self esteem among children and teenagers is an incredibly important, and very easy, habit for
parents to fall into.

Staying positive and being generous with praise are two of the most important steps any adult can take to help
promote a youngster’s self esteem.

• Be loving with your child, giving hugs and kisses regardless of achievements.

• Help your child set realistic, attainable goals.

• Praise your child for the effort, not for the outcome.

• Avoid criticising your child’s performance at a given task, and instead praise his/her enthusiasm
or imagination.

• Encourage your child to engage in activities due to interest, not ability.

• Do not tolerate self criticism from your child. Help him/her focus on positive points.

• Lead by example. Do not criticise yourself in front of your children.

• Foster a caring environment at home by dispelling sibling rivalry.

While many children develop self esteem as they grow, for some children self esteem must be nurtured
and tended.

Parents are at the front line of promoting children’s self esteem, and while often their opinion is enough to
make even the littlest chest swell with pride, some children may require more intense therapy.

If needed, finding a family or child counsellor in your area may be the difference between a happy, healthy
child and a depressed, downtrodden child.

If you are worried about your child’s self esteem then don’t delay, begin your journey to a better
life today!

Kids And Adults Can Both Sign Up For Performing Arts Classes

The Garage Theatre Group, Bergen County’s professional theater group, is happy to report the fall schedule
for its theater and performing arts classes.

The classes, taught by some of New Jersey’s finest theater professionals, begin the week of Sept.
13 at the Becton Theater, 960 River Road in Teaneck, on the Fairleigh Dickinson campus.

The Garage Theatre Group provides theatrical learning experiences that develop leadership, emphasize
responsibility, and foster teamwork in a supportive and respectful environment.

The classes’ unique family atmosphere helps students develop a strong sense of self-esteem.

“Theater opens up a new world for people,” says Michael Bias, artistic director of the Garage.

“Our classes — for children and adults alike — help people to express themselves and find their own creativity.”

Five courses are being offered this year. Each course runs for 10 sessions:

Acting 1 for ages 6-9 uses interactive theatre games and dramatic story telling so children can learn
to express themselves both verbally and non-verbally.

By showing rather than telling, the class encourages personal and creative freedom.

Taught by Michael Haber, graduate of the Garage Theatre Group and The University of Delaware,
Tuesdays from 4 to 5:15 p.m.

Acting 2 for ages 10-13 begins with sensory work and moves on through basic acting techniques.

Students are taught to physicalize rather than vocalize their thoughts and emotions through theater games,
role playing and improvisation. During the course of the year, students work on problem solving in scenes
and improvisations. Taught by Michael Bias, Wednesdays from 4 to 5:30 p.m.

Acting 3 for ages 13 -18 joins basic and advanced acting techniques through relaxation exercises, sensory work,
sense memory technique, character development, monologues and scene study.

The class promotes an exchange of ideas and a forum for communication. Taught by Bias, Wednesday evenings from
7 to 10 p.m.

Adult Acting and Scene Study for adults will be held on Monday evenings from 7 to 10 p.m.

This workshop is an advanced class in technique and scene study. Sensory work, character development, monologues
and scene work will be emphasized by Bias.

New Theatre Dance offered for the first time this season by the Garage Youth Conservatory, Theatre Dance
is a 90-minute class that covers everything from Bob Fosse to Agnes DeMille to Susan Stroman.

The course aims to strengthen the dancer’s agility and ability to follow directions while building a team.

The program works towards a final presentation which will feature the special abilities of the participants.

Taught by Marilyn Cervino, actor, dancer, choreographer and teacher with 30 years experience, Thursdays from
5:30 to 7 p.m.

The Garage also offers individual acting coaching and voice lessons.

All classes require a registration fee to cover insurance costs.

This fee will reserve a spot in class and entitles the student to participate in all activities including classes, productions and trips. Since all classes have limited enrollment, early registration is suggested.

Priority is given to returning students.

Visit www.garagetheatre.org or call 201-569-7710.

Older People May Get A Self-Esteem Boost By Reading Negative Stories About Younger People

People over 50 seem to, according to a new study that shows older people prefer reading negative
news over positive news about younger people.

What are your views?

Facebook Activity Correlates To Low Self Esteem And Narcissism

According to a new study by Dr. Soraya Mehdizadeh of York University in Toronto,
greater online activity on Facebook is correlated with low self-esteem and narcissism.

Hundred Facebook users’ profiles were analyzed against their real-world personalities.

After having 50 male and 50 female student participants answer questions about their demographics,
Facebook activity, self-esteem and narcissism, Mehdizadeh rated each student’s page for self-promotional content, assessing the “About Me” section, their profile photo, the first 20 pictures in the “View Photos of Me” section, the notes, and the status updates of each student, rating each page based on extent it self-promotes the user.

The results showed that students with comparatively lower self-esteem scores and higher narcissism scores not
only spent spent more time on Facebook, but also tended to “self-promote” more than the students with
higher self-esteem scores and lower narcissism scores.

Facebook “self promotion” is described by ShockMD.com as “any descriptive or visual information that
appeared to attempt to persuade others about one’s own positive qualities.

For instance posting ‘My Celebrity Look-alikes’. Use of picture enhancement etc.”

The study concludes, a person’s Facebook profile does not necessarily provide an accurate representation
of the person creating the page.

A user who constantly updates his or her status, obsessively uploads new photos and excessively posts
or comments on others’ walls, for instance, may be exhibiting narcissistic tendencies and battling
issues of low self-esteem–or as All Facebook puts it, “those “cool” Facebook friends you have who keep
spamming your news feed with constant information about themselves and how awesome they are may not be
too awesome after all.” Source

I had always suspected that but never had any proof.

I have a Facebook account which I hardly use, I have a LinkedIn account which I also hardly use.

I don’t have have a Twitter account because I just think it is idiotic however my blog does have a
Twitter account, which is really an automated feed to generate traffic but all it has got the blog
is endless spam.

Does that mean I have a high self-esteem?

Self Pity Leads To A Low Self Esteem

“One thing that makes it so difficult to drop feeling sorry for
ourselves is how real it feels when we are full of self-regret.”
-Guy Finley (The Courage to Be Free)

Regret, in any form, nags at our consciousness continually reminding us we’re unworthy or incapable
of achieving greatness or even mediocrity.

Be it a relationship, job, school, or whatever, the regret of something we’ve either failed at
accomplishing or even started, binds us to the past and keeps us in the dark unable to see the
possibilities available to us.

Consumed by self-regret, we sink into a morass of self-pity and low self-esteem.

Even the possibilities available to us in the present moment are overshadowed by our past regrets.

Even though it sucks—a lot!—its familiarity keeps us bound to a cycle seemingly impossible to break.

“The secret attraction behind self-pity—why it’s so hard to set down—is that the part of us that feels
like nothing makes the part of us that points out this nothingness feel quite special!”
-Guy Finley (The Courage to Be Free)

We can look at two sources for the dilemma of being stuck in self-pity and feeling sorry for ourselves:
lack of choice and fear.

Lack of Choice & Fear

Lack of choice is an illusion masked by fear. Remove the fear, and we realize we have more choices
than we could imagine. Just think of the possibilities (choices) if fear was not present!

It’s fear that keeps us from realizing we do have choices.

The illusion of fear is most often based on past experiences; experiences that we regret and fear going
through again.

Once we realize the power of this fear, that it is holding us captive, we can bring light to it
by revealing its truth: it’s part of our past, not our present.

“There lives nothing real in our past—regardless of how disappointing or painful it may have been—that can
grab us and make us its captive, any more than dark shadows have the power to keep us from walking into the light.”
-Guy Finley (The Courage to Be Free)

When dealing with self pity (feeling sorry for yourself), think about these 10 key lessons from Guy Finley:

The only thing feeling sorry for yourself changes about your life is that it makes it worse.
No matter how you look at it, you involve yourself with whatever you resist.

Being wrapped up in self-pity completely spoils any chance of being able to see new possibilities as they appear. Besides, no one likes sour milk!

The only thing that grows from cultivating any dark seed of sorrow is more bitter fruit.

Feeling sorry for those who want you to feel sorry for them is like giving an alcoholic a gift certificate
to a liquor store.

Your thoughts can no more tell you what is true about your possibilities than a set of streamside
boulders can know the nature of the waters that rush by them.

Feeling sorry for yourself is a slow-acting poison. First it corrupts, then it consumes your heart, choking it
with dark and useless emotions.

You cannot separate the reasons you have for feeling sorry for yourself from the sorry way you feel.

The heart watered by tears of self-pity soon turns to stone; it is incapable of compassion.

When you agree to live with sad regrets, you ensure they’ll still be with you tomorrow.

Those are all interesting right? But they’re still just words on this web page—how do we put these
things into practice?

The answer is one step at a time—you can climb mountains one step at a time.

The first step of change is usually the hardest.

Just remember that most things worth doing are not hard, they’re just uncomfortable.

There is a difference!

Moving out of self-pity and low self-esteem takes small actions that create a sense of love for self over time.

One of my favorite quotes and philosophies of all time is from breakthrough specialist Francine Ward

(who has an amazing story by the way!):

“You get self-esteem by doing Esteemable Acts”;
the operative word is “DOING””

Everyone probably gets tired of hearing me talk about action and DOING things.

But honestly, there really is no other way.

You cannot think your way into good living; you must live your way into good thinking.

And that especially applies to self-pity and low self-esteem.

Here is a short simple list of things you can do to bring light to your pity party:

Do something kind for someone… anonymously (need ideas?)

Clean your house

Exercise

Volunteer at a local mission

Make a decision to think positive thoughts about yourself today

Take donuts to your co-workers

When you notice negative thoughts, stop and remind yourself you have a choice
Send a card instead of an email

Plant some flowers

Make your bed

So get out there and do something!

Don’t Wait. Start Self Esteem Improvement Now

Be determined to improve your self esteem and you are on your way to great achievement.

Do not let a low self esteem ruin your life.

The way you think about yourself determines how you interact with others.

What are some examples of low esteem aspects in your mind that you need improvement on?

1. Nothing you do seems to go right…
2. You believe that most people do not like you.
3. You believe that you are not attractive.
4. You choose something and it turns out to be the worst one.
5. You are afraid to converse with others for fear that what you say might not make sense.
6. You feel swallowed up in a whirlpool of frustration.

What’s wrong with you? Your thoughts, actually.

Foundation for Goal Achieving…

Stop thinking that the world is closing in on you. Get determined to achieve what you desire.

Stop blaming other people for your misfortunes. The world is not your problem, you are your own problem.

From this moment on, begin the process of self esteem improvement.

Think the right way and be determined to win, and win you will.

Just remember that success never comes easily and that is why determination is its counterpart.

Goal Achieving Step…

Oftentimes, one gets to the brink of success and with just a little disappointment or setback, they lose heart
and give up too easily and too soon.

A surefire candidate to low self esteem improvement. Who knows what great things might have been achieved if
only they had persevered.

Without a high self esteem, your life could be rather boring.

Change your thinking and begin to see yourself on top of the world.

Make a very special effort to be what you really want to be.

You have to seriously decide either to remain in a miserable state of low self esteem, or acquire self esteem improvement and develop a high self esteem with good character and self image.

The origin of low self esteem…

A low self esteem could begin way back in childhood when children are made to believe that they are worthless.

Their self confidence is eroded and they succumb to the idea that they can never achieve success in anything
that they do.

They were picked on, laughed at, pushed around, called ugly names, and treated with disdain.

No wonder they grew up to be full of resentment.

If that was your experience, it is time you cut yourself loose from that mindset and do self esteem improvement.

Start reading about the life of successful persons and you will soon discover that many of them had such
low self esteem that they could not even complete an elementary education.

Attitude Adjustment…

Many decided to override their low self esteem and improve their attitude, whatever it took.

They became some of the greatest men and women that ever lived.

Low self esteem has never helped anyone else and it sure will not help you.

It can only drive you into depression, anger, grudge, fear and all the other evils that it generates.

Re-program your thinking and control your state of mind. You must believe that you are worth much more
than you think or you will remain at the foot of the ladder and never make an attempt to climb it.

Do not waste your life away with feelings of inadequacies. Instead, think of ways to go about self esteem
improvement. Success is yours, just reach out and grasp it.

Digg deeper….

Raising Your Children’s Self Esteem

There are many aspects to raising your children.

One of these aspects is fostering a healthy level of self-esteem in your child.

All children have their own pictures of themselves in their minds shaped largely by how they are raised
and by what they hear from the significant people in their lives, especially their parents.

Parents need to remember that a child does not come equipped with his or her own self-image when born;
this self-image is instilled and learned through the various experiences starting from birth.

Self-esteem is related to self-image, how one views oneself.

This judgment about self-worth plays a very important role in a child’s growth and development.

Studies show that children who have high self-esteem are more productive, adventurous and self-assured.

These types of kids are less likely to be affected by peer pressure or frustrations.

They will deal with their shortcomings in a more level-headed manner as well.

Those with low self-esteem on the other hand will have more difficulties and will constantly look for
reassurance in everything they do.

Here are a few tips on how to raise your child’s self-confidence and help him or her build a
healthy self-image.

Self-acceptance

Make it known to your child that you appreciate yourself, your strengths and your accomplishments.

Your child will mirror you and if your level of confidence is high and you are always positive,
the environment you will create for your child will cradle confidence and creativity.

Respect Unique Qualities

You and your child are not identical. It does not mean that since you are the parent, your child will have
the same talents as yours.

Every child has a different kind of talent and this talent may come with different needs.

You should embrace your child’s uniqueness and nurture his or her talent.

Doing this for your child is one of the greatest gifts you can give and when your child grows up,
this gift will be much more appreciated. Support their interests.

Never Compare

Do not compare your child to other children. Do not compare siblings as well.

Love your kids with all their shortcomings and keep in mind that your children are not the same.

Be mindful of using unintentionally derogatory or negative phrases or words when refering to your child.

Keep Expectations Realistic

You should have realistic expectations. Very high expectations can lead to negativity because children
may then feel that they have to be perfect for them to be loved - which should not be the case.

Applaud Effort

If you see that your children are doing their best, make sure that he or she knows you recognize this effort.

For example, if your child does not make it to the soccer team, tell your child that you are still very happy
that he or she did his best.

What Is The Difference Between Self Esteem And Arrogance?

When you meet someone who feels that they are attractive, are they demonstrating positive self-esteem
or arrogance?

When you meet someone who feels that they are intelligent, are they demonstrating positive self-esteem or
arrogance?

When you meet someone who feels that they are a good person, are they demonstrating positive self-esteem
or arrogance?

Where do *you* draw the line between positive self-esteem and arrogance?

Problem Solving Skills Can Raise The Self Esteem Of Teen’s

Problem-solving skills can raise a teen’s self-esteem.

The following are the ways in which these skills can be of use to a child of this age and how to
develop them.

It can give the teen something that they can be proud of

Many teens have difficulty with self-esteem.

They may not think that they can accomplish anything or feel that they just do not have the
skills that others do.

If you can help them develop their problem-solving skills, then this can help give them something to be
proud of.

Their self-esteem may be raised as they see that they are solving problems successfully.

They may do better in school

Many school projects require problem-solving skills.

When the children have these abilities,they may do better in school.

Furthermore, when they do better in school, then their self-esteem might be higher.

Students who do bad in school sometimes think that they are not smart.

This may be especially poignant if they are really trying but just do not have the problem-solving
skills to do the work.

Developing these might make them feel like they are intelligent and be a boost to their esteem.

They may win competitions, which can help them with their self-esteem

If a teen has good problem-solving skills, then they might choose to enter some competitions such as in
a math club or a chess club.

If they do well in this, then it can help them feel better about themselves.

Their friends and family might be impressed, which can help them have higher self-esteem

Unfortunately, many teens base their self-esteem on what others think of them (or at least what they think that
other things of them).

They may look to see if others are impressed by what they do or whether others seem to solve
problems faster and better.

If they have good problem-solving skills and are able to quickly solve problems whether in school or just
in everyday activities, then others might make positive comments.

When they hear these comments, the teens may feel pride, and this may help them to feel higher self-esteem
about this and even everything.

They may become known as the person who is going at solving things.

Having better problem-solving skills can help a teen to feel better self-esteem.

Although a lot of this trait in inherent, a teen can increase the skills by practicing different problems
and reasoning.

There are many brainteaser books that can help them accomplish this.

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